2 posts in 1 day?

It must be the new comp!  BOYF came home w/ a surprise yesterday…a brand new MacBook Pro!  I am a total mac-aphobe, but he insists I use it. This is my first time blogging with it, and it seems great so far!

I started the day w/ a bowl of vanilla soy yogurt, Bear Naked granola, and blueberries.

But the picture vanished into thin air. Just imagine a bowl of crunchy, berry, creamy goodness.

Then I was off to my parents’ house!  When I got there, my mom made me a nice big mug of green tea, and we sat and chatted for a while.  It was lovely.

Before I knew it, I was hungry again. Momma BTTB (beyond the text book, duh) likes when I’m hungry.

I had a Thomas’s everything bagel toasted w/ smart balance light.

I spent the rest of the day resting – sometimes outside (the hammock made me sea sick), sometimes on a futon, sometimes on a couch, sometimes on the porch, sometimes while watching Legally Blonde (classic!) … you get the idea.

Snack included graham crackers, and lunch was a turkey sandwich on whole wheat w/ lettuce and tomato. I basically managed to lift my head just enough to eat, so pictures just weren’t in the cards.

After a day of resting, getting some much needed TLC, and spending quality time w/ the fam, BOYF arrived to whisk me off my feet!

Err….wake me up and drag me home.  Potatoes, potahtos

When we got home, he got to grillin.

Shoot!! I just realized somehow the pic is on my other comp! I was going back and forth w/ the comps, and dinner got stuck on the Dell! poop! It was a good picture too…wah wah 😦

Well, I guess I’ll just tell you and you can imagine it.

It was a turkey burger on a whole wheat organic bun w/ fresh local lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, ketchup, and fresh local corn on the side.  It was yummers.  My burger was huge and I ate the whole thing!

Don’t worry…I have the pic of dessert.  I decided to have a combo of soy ice cream, candied pecans (LOVE), and coconut.

Final product? Delicious!

I had a mini surge of energy after dinner, so as promised, I present to you my….

Farmer’s Market Recap


Yesterday’s farmer’s market adventure was extra special because it was BOYF’s first time ever at a farmer’s market!  When we got there,  I couldn’t help but giggle as he repeatedly said “take me into your world!”

I’m new at the whole farmer’s market scene myself, but am quickly hooked! I liked the idea of being able to introduce BOYF to something new!

Andddddd I just got “a whole new world” stuck in my head.     Fantastic.

Ok, so you might be wondering what we got.

Boyf was really excited to get corn.  Unfortunately, I don’t have a pic because we ate it.  I would’ve had a pic if my Dell wasn’t holding dinner captive.

Ahh! I forgot to take a pic of our pretty flowers!  Yes, we got pretty flowers.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll just post pictures of turkey burgs, corn, and flowers?

Maybe not.

I blame my medication for tonight’s delirium. I really do.

Ok, everything else I have pictures of.  GAHH!  Except the apples! We only bought 2. I was super excited for our first apples of the season!  BOYF had his w/ earth balance PB and I had mine w/ dark chocolate wonderful. The Dell ate that as well.

The other fruit we bought was peaches.

“Peaches come from a can…”   (Or the farmer’s market.)

We also bought…

a tasty tomato,

luscious lettuce,

gorgeous green pepper,

cool cukes,

excellent eggplant,

and crazy carrots!

This guy was exceptionally crazy!

Ok, alliteration makes for one tired blogger!

Hopefully I can actually sleep tonight….



Why hello there!

I want to say a big ol’ WELCOME to any new readers via Operation Beautiful who might have stuck around after reading my post for Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look Week. 🙂

I also want to say a big ol’ I MISS YOU to my regular readers! 

Stupid tummy + stupider meds = lots of dizziness and discomfort and not a whole lot of computer time.   And this is only day 3 of 10 for my medicine regimen! BOO.

That being said, I have been trying to eat as normal as possible.  I’m trying to treat my body as best I can while it’s being consumed with medication and trying to fight an infection. (bleh).

Instead of recapping everything I’ve eaten in the past few days, I’ll just give you one main highlight.

Chocolately Walnut Vegan Cookies. 

If those don’t make me feel better, I don’t know what will. 😉

Major yummy.

I was going to a friend’s cookout on Friday and this is what I brought. They were a hit…people couldn’t believe they were vegan!

I just couldn’t stop eating them.

Here’s the recipe – they’re easy to make, but super addictive!

What You’ll Need:

1 stick vegan margarine

1/2 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup white sugar

2 tablespoons ground flaxseed + 6 tablespoons of water…mix together, let sit for 2 mins = 2 eggs!

2 and 1/4 cups flour

splash of vanilla

splash of baking soda (ok, I guess baking soda doesn’t actually “splash,” but you get the idea)

splash of salt (see above.)  (splash = I don’t measure)

bag of vegan chocolate chippies

1 cup of walnuts

What you’ll do:

-Preheat oven to 375

-Melt margarine in pan

-Whisk sugars, egg mixture, vanilla, and melted margarine into a nice big bowl

-In a smaller bowl, whisk flour, baking soda, and salt.

-Mix dry ingredients into wet ingredients.

-Stir chippies and nuts into mix. Get everything nice and covered but don’t overmix.

-Line baking sheets w/ parchment paper. Wet hands slightly and roll mixture into balls. 

-I think I made mine smaller than usual because it made about 45 cookies and each one was oozing with chocolate.  I preferred it this way!  They weren’t that small, plus there were more cookies! (I think it’s normally like 30?) 

-I used 3 baking trays. (2 at a time, then 1 more)

-Cook for about 15 mins…possibly a little less, depending on how you like them.

-If you want to keep your cookies soft, keep a piece of bread in there with the cookies.  I take a piece of bread and rip it into chunks, spreading it around. The bread soaks up any moisture, so the bread gets all hard and the cookies stay soft!  Doubles as a cool magic trick.

Yesterday I managed to get myself to the farmer’s market. Thank goodness! When I got home though, all I could manage to do was put the goodies away and plop into bed. I was sad I didn’t get to have a photo shoot! 

Maybe later. I do intend on letting you know what I purchased. It was another beautiful day for a farmer’s market and the boyf’s first time!

Ok, it’s time for me to get ready for my day. The boyf is dropping me off at my parent’s on his way to go golfing. I am def in need of some mommy TLC.

Boyf TLC is great but nothing comes close to mommy TLC.    Can I get an amen?

(oh and daddy and lil brother TLC is great too).

I hope your day is filled with sunshine and cookies!


Oh hi.

I gotta tell you, I’m feeling a little down and out tonight.  But I thought that blogging would make me feel better. Ya know, keep my mind busy.

Let’s start with the eats and then we’ll go into the not so good parts.

For breakfast, I had a ‘naner while driving to work. I don’t know if that’s weird or not. It’s a kind of awkward thing to eat while driving.

When I got to work, I had another bowl of “organic cinnamon toast crunch” with almond milk. Soo good..I felt like a little kid.

Lunch was a PB+J on a deli flat with some strawberries on the side.   Picture must have disappeared into thin air.

Snack was one of these bad larries

It was my first time trying this flavahh…success!

Also, I just realized that this is the second kid-targeted food I ate today. Totally fine.

I left work early to go to my gastroenterologist appointment.  I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I didn’t recieve the greatest news ever. I’ve been feeling sick lately, as you know, so they did a bunch of tests and all that.  They thought I might have a bacteria, so that’s primarily what they were looking for.

Well, good news – they didn’t find a bacteria.  Maybe just one of my IBS flareups.

Not so good news – they did find something else. Apparently, I tested positive for h.pylori, which is some sort of infection that lives in your g.i. tract (?).

I don’t know much about this, but I guess many people can have it and have no syptoms or complications at all.

But, in the smaller population that does have symptoms and complications, they can be pretty bad – gastritis, ulcers, and even stomach cancer.

My docs just want to treat it to get it out of my system, which is done through a regimen of antibiotics and other meds.  It definitely could be worse, but I hate taking meds, specifically antibiotics, because of how they make me feel, so I am not excited about taking 4 new meds on top of the regular stomach meds I already take, even if it is only for 10 days.  The dr. basically told me it’s going to get worse before it gets better.  So now I’m just trying to mentally prepare myself to be sick and feel gross for the next 10 days.

I also apparently had pretty low blood pressure when I was there, which they were a little concerned about, so I had to go the lab to get tests for that too! 

I was there alone and it was very overwhelming to hear all this. The doc had all these handouts she printed out for me, and my handful of prescriptions. I was glad she was so prepared, but it also made it seem so intimidating!

Oddly enough, when I got out of the hospital, I felt starving, so I had my go-to snack

When it was time for dinner, I wanted something comforting and yummy, but I didn’t want to do anything for it. 

Whole Foods salad bar it is!

I honestly can’t even tell you what was in this; I have no idea. I just started grabbing what looked good, and went with it.  I liked that I didn’t have any lettuce though. I often want a salad, but don’t want lettuce. Is that weird?  I had a quinoa base instead. YUM.

I also had it w/ a nice slab o’ bread. I told you I wanted to be comforted.

And I treated myself to one of these, which I LOVE

The food was good and helped.  But I still just feel really down. I’m frustrated because I feel like I’ve been trying so hard to be healthy and then this happens.  But apparently, I could have had this for most of my life, and I didn’t even know!  I think I’m just really anxious about how I’m going to feel while taking all the meds. It stinks the most because the past few days I’ve felt a lot better, but getting rid of the h.pylori is more of a precautionary thing than anything else.  Which I totally get. It just sucks that I was feeling better, and now I’m most likely going to feel a lot worse.

Boo.    Ok, I’m sorry for the depressing post.  I just needed to get it all out there. 

It’s definitely time to fill my brain with an episode of real world.  If that doesn’t help, I don’t know what will.  😉


Have you heard of Operation Beautiful?  If not, allow me to shed some light.

Operation Beautiful is a movement started by Caitlin, whose mission is to end negative self-talk, primarily through the use of positive affirmations, such as “You are beautiful!” written on notes and left anonymously in various places.  It sounds like a simple idea, but the impact it has had has been tremendous…so much so that an Operation Beautiful book was released today!

 In honor of her book launch, Caitlin deemed this week “Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look Week.” The goal of this week is to give bloggers (and writers of any type!) the chance to post experiences related to body image, healthy balance, and self-confidence.

Naturally I jumped at the chance. I felt this was a topic that really hit home for me.  I was really excited to write this post, but I didn’t fully anticipate the emotion that would go with it. At one point, I literally had tears streaming down my face while writing this post, but I stuck with it because as emotional as it was, it also felt really good. I just feel like I am at a place where I can share this, and I’m glad such a motivating opportunity arose.


It didn’t start out as a body image thing.  I was content with my body. Happy, really. I was a little curvy, sure, but that made me who I am.  It represented my mother, it represented my heritage, it represented me.

It started out as a fear. A fear of food, a fear of eating, a fear of getting sick.   After countless years spent in the bathroom, spent doubled over in pain, spent at doctors’ offices, spent getting tests, spent getting diagnosed with stomach disorders and intolerances, I couldn’t deal. I was terrified.

I hated food. At this point, it had nothing to do with weight. It had all to do with getting sick. I hated food for causing me so much pain and discomfort through the years. I was always anxious about where I would be when I would get sick next.

It started out small.  I would only eat minimal amounts of food before I would go out with my friends so I wouldn’t get sick. That turned into not eating at all before I would go out with my friends. Which turned into not eating at all before I would leave the house for any reason. You get the idea.

Before I knew it, it had totally consumed me. Any relationship I had with food was completely distorted. As much as I hated food, it was all I thought about. My first thought upon waking up was “what am I doing today and what will I need to eat to get through it?” If I knew I would be out of the house, I knew I couldn’t eat. If I knew I was going somewhere later, I knew I couldn’t eat. For me, food had nothing to do with enjoyment and all to do with eating just enough to get by.  I ate the exact same foods every day.

Naturally, this affected my weight. It wasn’t my intention. I was so preoccupied with not getting sick, that I didn’t think about the actual consequences of not eating. That it, in fact, made me much sicker: stomach pains of a different type, complete shift in mood, total weakness, and the weight.

When I was 18, I went from a size 7 to a size 0.

At one point, I was a double zero. I didn’t even know this was a size. I didn’t even know I could try on a skirt sized zero and it be too big.

And that’s how it started.

In the past 7 years, I have bounced back and forth between a size 7 and a size 0. Naturally, I couldn’t help but notice it. My wardrobe noticed it. Other people noticed it.

And then there were the comments.

People would ask me if I lost weight.  I actually began to like this. People were noticing I was skinny? Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. I was getting all this attention. If people noticed how skinny I am, I must look really good.

Then people would ask me if I was sick. Sick? Too skinny? I’m too skinny. People think I’m sickly. I must look so ugly.


When I put back on some weight, people would tell me I looked healthy. Healthy. That’s good, right? No. When they say healthy, they just mean fat. I’m fat. And I’m ugly. And people are noticing.


And then there was the mirror. Some days I was too skinny. Most days I was too fat. On rare occasions, I was alright. But the next day, I was all wrong.

Now, at age 25, I’m doing better.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be completely better, but I’m getting there.  The fact that I can even sit here and write this, shows me I’m doing better.  I have struggled with this for almost a decade, and I am just now able to talk about it.

My thoughts are now more rational. I can look at pictures of me at my skinniest and know that I don’t look healthy.  And that is not a good look, because healthy is what I need to strive for, above anything else.

I wish I could say that I stopped caring about what people think, but I would be lying.  I was, however, able to realize that other people’s thoughts and comments do not define me. I cannot control this.  Plus, people’s thoughts are so subjective. It’s not worth it to dwell on what other people think and say. 

Well, some stuff is good. Like when my boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful and he really means it.  Or that he’s proud of me when I eat full meals even though I’m afraid.  Or when my mom tells me that I look healthy and that I’m doing a good job.  These are the comments I should be listening to.


Why do we take negative comments to heart, but completely dismiss the positive ones?


But what it really comes down to is myself: conquering my own fears and being happy with who I am and what I look like. 

Lately I have really been “coming into my own.” I have made a significant effort to buy a variety of different foods and eat things that I am comfortable with.  I have been spending a lot more time in the kitchen, and this has helped me to develop a more positive relationship with food.  I have also been consuming healthier and cleaner foods, which helps me to feel good about what I put into my body and not worry so much when I eat.

I’ve also been introducing myself to new foods and combining foods that I never thought I would.

Additionally, I’ve looked towards exercise as a way to make healthy choices for my body while doing something that is also good for me mentally and emotionally.  Even though I had never really run before, I took up running and within 6 weeks of training, I ran my first 5K.

I had never been so proud of myself.

I know I am not completely better, but I also don’t know what that even means.  While I am not a size 7, I am also not a size 0.  And I am okay with this. As far as my mindset with all of this goes, I think I am the best I have ever been since going through all of this.  I am proud of myself for eating more, I am proud of myself for exercising, I am proud of myself for being brave, and I am proud of myself for writing this post.

I work hard every day at being happy with myself and being happy with how I look.  I have been making a conscious effort to spend less time in front of the mirror and more time enjoying life.

What it really comes down to is being healthy and being happy. Not worrying about the size of my jeans, or what other people think about me when I walk down the street.

What matters is being comfortable with myself.

Who am I?

Oh, hello.

Sometimes I get so sleepy, I fall asleep before I get to recap my day. I should probably work on that.

Lucky for you, that means you get a DOUBLE recap! Yesterday AND today!

what what!

Yesterday I had my final muffie! mmm soo good. Followed by a soy yogurt and granola.

Clearly I need to clean the table.  woops.  It attracts shmutz, I swear.

I was feeling off and on all day, but was able to eat.

Lunch was a good ol’ fashioned PB&J

Followed by the remnants of a peach.  I was able to salvage the good parts!

Snack was a luna bar.

I spent the day doing work, but I was able to relax when the boyf was grillin! I don’t know how we survived without a grill, I’m tellin ya.  My newest “grillin” playlist on my ipod has been well recieved.  What is better?

Oh and guess what?  Some might say that last night was monumentous.  Why you ask?  Oh I’ll tell you why.

Red Meat. Yes, that’s right; I ate steak tips!  Who am I?

It was a pretty big deal. I made sure that the meat was locally raised and as pure as I could find – no antibiotics, grass fed, etc.  

So, I felt as good as I could about eating red meat.

On to the taste…

I have to say, I enjoyed it.  I definitely could only eat red meat that’s cooked on the grill. It just has such a good flavor. Boyf did a good job.

I enjoyed it and ate 3 pieces. 

Was I in heaven and wondering why I haven’t eaten steak in so long? 

Well, no.

Did I feel sick to my stomach afterwards?

Well, yes.

Will I be scarfing down more red meat in the near future?

Probably not.

But I’m glad I did. I feel like it was worth it to try it, and now I know that I really don’t think I’ll be missing too much without it.  I’m not saying I’m going completely vegan right now, but I am going to continue to be as aware of possible of what I put into my body, and only eat products that I feel comfortable with and that make me feel good.

The steak was served with grilled fresh and local zucchini and summer squash.

And corn!

I accidentally started eating it before I took a pic! woops. It was so good I couldn’t resist. Figured this was better than nothing! (sorry if gross.)

Dessert was some unpictured chocolate chips, per usual. 😉

Today was back to the grind with work and school…my last full week until the school year starts! 

I realized I didn’t take a picture of anything I ate during the day today.  It’s hard with work – I can’t take pictures there, and I didn’t have a chance beforehand. Oh well. It was nothing too spectacular.

Breakfast was a bowl of Cascadian Farms for Kids’ version of cinnamon toast crunch, with almond milk. Snack was a banana. Lunch was PB&J and a bag of pretzels.  Snacks were a luna bar and 2 lil’ nectarines.

Dinner.  Dinner was scrumptious. I felt ravenous. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.  I may or may not have been heard mumbling “this is a bomb salad” as I shoved forkfuls into my mouth.  Again, who am I?  The boyf was slightly confused by this phrase. I don’t blame him.

The “bomb” salad consisted of local Boston lettuce, local tomato, olives, avocado, local zucchini and summer squash, and warm (okay, hot. I couldn’t wait) quinoa.  I was literally shoveling  it into my mouth. Delish.

Now I’m snackin’ on some chocolate chippies! Shocker, I know.  I’m literally an addict. It’s scary.

The boyf and I are relaxing on the couch watching “Everybody Hates Chris” on nick at nite! I know what you’re thinking: what happened to Mr. Ed and Mary Tyler Moore? 

I feel ya, I do. I’m not sure when nick at nite became well, not old. But after watching nick, teen nick, and nick at nite around the clock when my lil bro stayed the night last week, the boyf and I became instant fans of Everybody Hates Chris.

SO random.

We might be the only people to watch this show? Not really sure.

Ok, I’m off!  Have a great night 🙂


Yesterday I was feeling pretty good. I don’t know if it was the weather or what, but I was feeling better and I had a major surge of energy.

I started off the day by having to go to the hospital lab for a quick test. Nothing too bad.  It’s about 1/2 hr away, but it was a beautiful Saturday morning drive.  I munched on one of yesterday’s muffies.

I then went straight to the Union Square Farmer’s Market (LOVE!) It was so beautiful out…the perfect farmer’s market day! I had to keep putting more quarters in the meter because I didn’t want to leave! 

Besides feeling great about what I’m purchasing, there’s something about being at farmer’s markets, and this one in particular, that just makes me feel good allover. Everyone just seems so friendly and peaceful and even though you’re surrounded by mostly strangers, you know that you all have a common goal of eating and using locally grown products.   

Or at least looking at pretty flowers and sampling free chocolate.  I digress.

I did score some great things and I couldn’t wait to tell you about them!

Pretty flowers,


Really cute plums (I believe that’s the scientific name),

the most beautiful tomato I ever saw,

Owww, Owww

Corn, boston lettuce, and zucchini,

(Green veggie photo shoot break)

Taza chocolate (A.MAZE.ING.),

and a special package!

After my photo shoot, I proceeded to soak up all the rays that was my sunny living room and stare longingly and my 4 simple yet beautiful new flowers.

Then, I went for a run!  Err…jog.  It’s been really hard with my stomach lately, but I’ve been trying to do baby steps.  Basically jog a little bit until I’m doubled over in pain. I have yet to figure out if this is a good idea or not.

After my run and shower, I made some lunch.

That would be organic avocado, fresh local tomato, and veggie hummus on locally made sunflower bread.  Nice little summer sandwich!

The rest of the day was far less productive than the first part, but it’s okay because it was wonderful.

To help prepare for dinner, I was given a very imporant mission.

Mission Tackle Pineapple!

that thing was out to get me! Luckily, with the help of my trusty sidekick, the boyf, we were able to show that pineapple who’s boss.

well, pineapple, you don’t look so tough without your jacket and hat now, do ya?

After I completed my mission, I proceeded to do one of my favorite things ever: keep the boyf company and act as his runner while he grills! This includes crankin up the tunes, and in this case, wine!

It was also time to reveal my special package!

My New Shirt!

But not just any new shirt – a WithinOrganics organic cotton tee!  Their motto is “change your clothes, change your life” so you know they have to be something special.

They have a variety of women’s tees – all of them made with organic cotton, meaning that the cotton was grown without the use of any pesticides or toxins. 

In addition to them being eco-friendly, they are also spiritually-friendly; each one of their shirts contains an affirmation on the inside!  What a great idea!

“I am blessed.”  🙂

I also had the pleasure of chatting with Nikki, one of the co-founders of Within Organics.  She is a DOLL.   She literally radiates a passion for her company as well as a passion for life. I couldn’t not talk to her.

I was so happy that I was introduced to this wonderful company and score such a hot new shirt…check out the back!


As the boyfriend continued grilling, I continued frolicking around in my new shirt!

Before I knew it, dinner was ready!

Grilled salmon, fresh local corn, grilled pineapple, and some fresh WF bread.  (don’t mind the appearance of the salmon. We’re still working on the fancy presentation thing.  We just wanted to eat)

So good…I cleaned my plate!

The rest of the night was spent relaxing and catching up on Rookie Blue! (so good!)

Wheeew…that was a really long post. I need a break.


Hello there! I hope you’re out enjoying  this BEAUTIFUL day! (While taking time to read my blog, of course. tee.hee.)

I didn’t have a chance to recap my day yesterday because my stomach was feeling off and on all day.  Luckily I finally talked to my stomach doc, so we’re going to do some tests and all that jazz. I won’t get into it too much on here, because well, I like having readers.  But I’ll let you know if anything serious comes up!

Anyhoo, while going back and forth between doubling over in pain, I managed to eat some substantial food and even do some baking!

For breakfast I had oats in a jar! I made oatmeal the regular ol’ way on the stove, but then added in some almond milk and cinnamom towards the end, and let it stay cooking for a few mins to get it all in there. Then I put it in my empty Earth Balance PB jar, added some shredded coconut and candied pecans (heavenly.) and VOILA!


Like I mentioned earlier, I didn’t feel great yesterday so my meals weren’t too exciting.  The day ended well though – I had a dinner of 2 hummus avocado wraps on TJ’s flatbread (obsessed.)

Feeling well enough to bake is super important. Yesterday did not dissapoint.

I present to you my vegan whole wheat banana peach nut muffies.

What you’ll need:

2 cups organic whole wheat flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 tbsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup almond milk

egg substitute – 1 tbsp ground flaxseed mixed w/ 3 tbsp water. Sit for 2 mins.

1/3 cup veg oil (would prefer not to use it, but wasn’t sure what to use instead? margarine?)

1 mashed banana

1 mashed peach

1/2 cup walnuts

vegan margarine spread (I used Earth Balance) and brown sugar for topping

What you’ll do:

Preheat oven to 400.

Gently mix flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.  Make a well in the center.

Mix milk, flax mixture, oil, banana, peach, and walnuts into a smaller bowl. 

Pour wet mixture into well of dry mixture.

Mix until blended, but don’t overmix.

Spoon batter into greased (I used Earth Balance) muffin pan.

Bake 15 mins. Stick knife or other object into muffin – when it comes out clean, you’re all good!  Also, your house will smell amazing.

As soon as you take them out of the oven, lightly spread vegan butter spread on each muffin.  Then, sprinkle each one with brown sugar.  It’s easier to just do it in excess and then shake it off.  (Hence the waxed paper).

SO yum!

how cute are we??  (yes, I’m speaking for the muffin).

Ok loves, now stop reading and go out and enjoy the day!  But come back later to read my recap of today…there may or may not be a farmer’s market recap somewhere in there 😉